To be honest, this isn't a genre I ever intended to return to. My blog has moved on since then, I have moved on since then... But that was until I came across this little gem. A Miley Cyrus porn parody. It's not the premise of the movie that drew me in, but the name itself: Molly's Wrecking Ballz. Brilliant.
Like with all good parody pornos, they don't name the victim, they just use a clever title to give it away. It's also quite obvious who it's about, and Miley's not the only celebrity who features in the video...
I'll just point out that I've only seen the trailer for this, you have to pay for the full video, and I'm not that high up in the erotic movie reviewing ladder to be sent a preliminary copy.
But anyway, from the start of the trailer I was quite impressed by the attention to detail. Get on their Miley, they've given her the haircut and they've got her doing the tongue thing.
If you wanted to see what Miley Cyrus looked like having sex (which now I think about it is probably the reason people would watch this movie) then this wouldn't be far off. Like the last blog I wrote on this subject though it does make me think how she got the role. Did the porn career come first or was she just a lookalike who's life took a turn?
The attention to detail is excellent. Fair play to the girl, she's got that Miley facial expression nailed on. She's a good Miley but I'm not happy with that sub standard couch. There's only one true couch in porn and that's the casting couch. How dare it stand where he stood.
They don't tell you this in the trailer, but the lad in the first scene there is supposed to be Liam Hemsworth. It looks a bit like him I suppose. However, in the next part, we get a bit of lesbian action and I genuinely could not tell who the other bird was meant to be. So, I looked it up, and ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Beyonce
All the single ladies
I agree. Terrible. They aren't suggesting Beyonce has a big black schlong by the way. That's a strap on, just to clarify.
It's not hard to guess who this is in the next scene though
Say Beetlejuice three times and Miley gets fucked
No it's not Beetlejuice, it's Robin Thicke. Again, the attention to detail is fantastic, Miley's even got the big foam finger. If you were watching this for the usual purposes that one might watch porn, you'd probably be a bit disappointed with the realism. Because to be fair the person who's come up with this hasn't had to do much thinking, it's what we all thought probably happened after seeing that performance at the VMA's. And porn's supposed to be a bit more fantasy than reality. So yeah.
Robin Thicke's not so thick dick cums all over Miley's head.
The hair is spot on, she's got the facial expression, the tongue's out, and she manages to throw the two fingers up, all whilst being ejaculated on. This girl is the consummate professional.
In the last scene Miley has a go on someone who I believe to be Justin Bieber. In a limo. I suppose if I want to find out how Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber ended up in a limo together having sex I'd have to buy the full movie. So good job trailer man for leaving me wanting more (not really) (really).
Here's Justin not really looking anything like the real Justin.
You know, they worked so hard on casting an excellent Miley in this, and she worked so hard on nailing all of Miley's characteristics, that I actually feel a bit like they let her down with the casting of her partners. Particularly Beyonce, it's like they've just measured her skin colour on a Dulux paint chart and gone "she'll do". Porn is supposed to give you unrealistic expectations of women, not ruin them!
Justin never takes his sunglasses off the entire time they're having sex, just in case you were wondering. As a side not, limo sex doesn't work for me because I always just think of this guy from Hot Shots
Twerk it with your mouth
Anyway, it's only a two minute trailer, and that's the last scene. Sure you'll all be rushing out to watch the full movie after reading this though. My advice would be to stick to Elmo and ET, the comedy value is a lot better. If anyone actually managed to read this well done and nice one for that. Peace.
@adamheath
