A blog about Facebook is long overdue from me. If you follow me on twitter you will have seen me have numerous rants on the subject, and some of these views will be getting expressed here, but I will be able to go into a bit more detail.
To be honest, a lot of what I say may be a bit hypocritical. I use Facebook myself, I appreciate the odd like, and this blog itself is most likely going to get posted to Facebook. This could be construed as me being the exact thing I'm criticising here. But anyway, I'm just going to go with it...
I decided to write this blog after a status I posted myself on facebook last night. This status to be precise...
The Ted reference was excellent
Now, the fact this is a facebook status is actually irrelevant to the point I'm about to make here. It's more to do with the naming of the kids that I mentioned there, and the thought process that's gone into these names. It's the fact that parents picking the names have gone through the thought process of what other people will think of the names that annoys me. They've made the conscious decision that rather than give their kids normal names they will double barrel two names that don't really go together in an attempt to make them different and more memorable. And I fucking hate the idea of this.
This leads me on to my main issue with Facebook, in case you were wondering like. It's the thought process that goes into the posts people make on there. The idea that people have posted a certain thing in a certain way for the purpose of it gaining attention. What it boils down to, is that Facebook has now just become a competition. Pretty much everything people post on their is done so with the purpose of presenting how good their life is, to present the idea that their life is better than yours. In some situations you could argue that this isn't the case, but it's the way people present things in a certain way that makes you know that they've thought about the best way to get the most likes for this post. In all honesty though, people's lives probably aren't all that great, otherwise they wouldn't be on Facebook.
Of course, the opposite of this, when people are having a shit time and thus are not competing... they are in fact still fucking competing. My tragedy is worse than yours. One of the things that annoys me the most that you will see all the time on Facebook is posts to dead relatives. "Rest in peace nan. 3 years ago today I lost you, I'm sure you're looking down on me angel." Nan didn't have Facebook when she was alive so she's probably not got it in the afterlife. Visit the grave and lay some flowers you cretin instead of posting it on Facebook in an attempt to get some likes. You'll then find the tremendous overuse of the word "hun" in the comments from friends consoling them. Just fucking give them a call or visit them if you're that good friends. But I forgot, you want everyone to see that you're consoling your friend.
Again, it just goes back to the thought process the person has gone through to make this post. They've thought of a heartfelt status about a dead relative, but they've thought of it in a way that will best achieve Facebook popularity, and it just means nothing to the person who's actually died. The same principle applies to people who make a status to wish a relative happy birthday. The worst one is when it's for kids. "Happy 1st birthday Robbie-Joe, we love you." (It's bound to be a shit name like Robbie-Joe if the kids only one, because the parents probably picked the name with a Facebook status in mind when they decided it.) But yeah, why wish a kid who's not on facebook anyway happy birthday? It's done with the sole purpose of everyone else seeing it's your kids birthday, so you can get likes on it. Any time there's a status from someone wishing a close relative I just feel like saying can't you give them a card and wish them happy birthday in person, does the whole of Facebook have to see it you attention seeking whore. Pick up the phone for fuck sake.
Thought process and public announcing are the two most annoying things on Facebook. The worst thing for this is pregnancies. If you follow me on twitter you will have seen me commenting on the number of pregnancies on Facebook recently. Now, I don't have an issue with the pregnancy itself, but it's just the impression I get sometimes that the persons first thought has been to get the news on Facebook to get likes on it. What do likes even achieve by the way? Does it just help people feel better about their mundane lives?
Another thing I see on Facebook that really irks me is the arranged photo, and again it is down to the thought process. The 'designed for Facebook' vibe it gives off. To explain, the arranged photo is an evolution from the old status of someone explaining what their night would involve in an attempt to portray a certain lifestyle that person is leading. In order to give an example of this I've stolen a previous example someone used in an article: "Time for a bubble bath and a large glass of champers methinks." You get the idea, the kind of thing that does not need to be made public, yet is made public to present this image of a person. Anyway, this has been evolved, mainly due to the catalyst that was Instagram, to become the arranged photo. If the example above was to be taken, this would involve the person posting a photo of said bubble bath, with said bottle of champers being neatly placed in shot to look very appealing to the viewer. The kind of photo that is not a natural snapshot of a situation and again does not need to be shared with the public. Arranged photos, I fucking hate them.
These days, I hate Facebook. It's become tedious, and like I said it is just a competition, a my life is better than yours. People post things that follow a similar pattern, whether it's the posts I mentioned above or just the use of certain words or phrases that are Facebook popular at any particular time. Yes, I do still have Facebook, but the honest reason for that is just due to the fact my life's photos are stored on their and I can't be bothered to save them all. Someone once said that Facebook is like a girlfriend you've spent years with and are bored of, but you don't want to end the relationship because you've put so much into it. That is very true.
@adamheath
